veek: (Default)
[personal profile] veek
So many people posting about dreams lately, I am finally remembering to record this oddity.

For the three days this week in which I've been so sick I've hardly been able to think, I've had a recurrent element in my dreams: my dad. I don't usually dream of him, so this was rare enough; but also odd was that these dreams were all happy. Sunshiny twinkly-eyes happy. They were centered around being together, in some of them as a family, in some - just the two of us. The feeling matched exactly the happiest memories I have of him, those rare occasions on which we'd be laughing incessantly and lightly, feeling no burden of any kind.

One of the dreams involved him visiting me in Boston, something he never did get to do. We walked down some red-brick steps somewhere in downtown (a mishmash of buildings and streets I know from real life), and they were slippery from all the ice on them, so I was warning him about being careful. There was a gorgeous sunset, with big bumpy blue-red-orange clouds and skies.

Another dream was in New York City, we were spending New Year's there, he and I and mom. We weren't anywhere I would recognize from real life, but I know we were in one of those rare places in Manhattan where it's just a bunch of residential buildings and an oddly-shaped yard. Or maybe I transplanted a bit of Rome in there. It was late afternoon, and we were idly wandering towards uptown, trying unsuccessfully to catch a cab. Last thing I remember from that one is laughing hard at something.

I don't remember the third (actually, second of three) night's dream, but he was in it too. I am about as agnostic as it gets with regard to what happens after death; but I did feel his presence, an attempt to make laughter heal, even if only in my sleep. What does anything else matter? It felt tangible, and is now a memory like any other.

Date: 2003-01-10 22:46 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isquiesque.livejournal.com
I had a similar dream this week. My grandmother and I had just walked into a large store, and left my grandfather outside to park the car. I asked her why we were doing that, what with him sick and needing assistance and all. She laughed, and I turned to follow her gaze toward the front of the store, where my grandfather was running toward us. He looked good. He looked healthy. He looked happy.

They both died in 2002, one in January, one in November. I woke up from that dream somehow feeling okay. Realizing that whatever lies beyond, they're there together, she's feeling fine and he's not bed-ridden anymore. That's a strange but comforting feeling.

Date: 2003-01-11 07:02 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veek.livejournal.com
It is odd to be at peace with things, yes. But, you know, there's a huge difference between that and callously locking out any feeling on the subject. In any case, *hugs*.

Date: 2003-01-11 01:22 (UTC)
tablesaw: -- (Default)
From: [personal profile] tablesaw
Dude! You got a userpic!

Dude!

Date: 2003-01-11 06:54 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veek.livejournal.com
Like, totally!

Oh, and...

Date: 2003-01-11 07:15 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veek.livejournal.com
Birthday's not over until you've got ALL YOUR GIFTS, dictionary boy!!

*maniacal giggle*

Re: Oh, and...

Date: 2003-01-11 08:17 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duchez.livejournal.com
This should go in Tablesaw's lj, but hey, she is right. Birthdays aren't over yet.

Date: 2003-01-11 03:14 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maga-dogg.livejournal.com
Yeah... are you doing t'ai chi, carrying the Invisible Man in the fireman's lift, or executing the patented Storme Winfield The Camera's Ungentle Eye Shrivels The Very Roots Of My Soul(tm) manouvre?
Awww, and one with Tesher...

Date: 2003-01-11 06:56 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veek.livejournal.com
It's actually a cutout from my favorite photo of me and my father. You can see it here (http://www.wordsend.org), if you like.

Teshka is the cutest nephew EVER. God, am I really saying this? I'm totally hooked on the guy. Got e-mail from brother today: they've finally received their New Year's gifts. Tesh is very excited about the little racetrack kit I sent him, got up this morning and went straight to playing with it, announcing that tetya Vika sent it to him. Heart aflutter! Does he know how to give a compliment, or what?

Date: 2003-01-11 06:59 (UTC)
tablesaw: -- (Default)
From: [personal profile] tablesaw
You can see it here, if you like.

I can? Where?

Date: 2003-01-11 07:00 (UTC)
tablesaw: -- (Default)
From: [personal profile] tablesaw
One minute off!

Um, let's try that link again...

Date: 2003-01-11 06:58 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veek.livejournal.com
D'oh. (http://www.wordsend.org/misc/walk-with-dad1.jpg)

Re: Um, let's try that link again...

Date: 2003-01-11 08:16 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duchez.livejournal.com
Hey! Haven't I seen that pix in your apartment?

Also, I am glad you had a happy dream of your dad. It's rare I dream about people lost to me, but it always makes me happy.

Re: Um, let's try that link again...

Date: 2003-01-11 08:22 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veek.livejournal.com
Yep, that one's hanging on my wall. I didn't have the negative for it, so the enlargement isn't great, but it's still a kickass pic.

Re: Um, let's try that link again...

Date: 2003-01-11 14:23 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maga-dogg.livejournal.com
Must be said: a good-looking old chap if ever there was one.

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