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veekI am drinking wine.
This is the only way I can think of, among the options available to me at the moment, to control the ball of energy inside and channel it outward effectively, so that it neither burns a hole through me nor gets dispersed wastefully. The past thirty-six hours have been that fulfilling.
I decided to experiment with foods I'd never made before, and invited a bunch of people to partake. If you call them, they will come - and they did, though some people who said they'd show up didn't. That's okay - I now have much leftover goodness, some of which went to feeding a Cee today. But about that, later.
Most of the morning and afternoon yesterday I spent cooking frantically, having planned things a bit poorly. People ended up socializing largely on their own (not that they seemed to mind) while I puttered about in the kitchen. Fortunately (?!), my kitchen is practically in my living room, so I was able to listen in on conversation, if not participate. One person had shown up before the others - this was planned, as we had decided that we needed to spend more time in each other's vicinity. Brilliant, intelligent, articulate, glowy being - have you ever experienced eyes both dark in color and utterly sunny? He laughed delightedly when I mentioned the words "haptic interface" and has proved fascinating at same. We will see movie and interact more, soon. This is happy.
After most had left, I remained with one, who was, is, the only person with whom I interact first through touch, then through language. Communication happens by both of these, for me, but haptic is not default primary with anyone but A. The evening was intense in that non-exhausting way.
Today, there was a Cee. This was the first time I was seeing her since the day I came back, when she picked me up from the airport and took me to a lot of socializing (yay!), and skipped town for Burning Man the next day. Several hours together did not nearly exhaust our capacity to babble on interlaced topics, updating each other on our lives. She massaged my shoulders, which had been hurting and are now feeling much better of course.
Being with her taps into that energy usually buried somewhere deep enough to not be distracting. I am emotionally bouncing off the walls, and reading (which is what I need to be doing right now) seems like a waste of the spillover of this energy. It can be quiet, fingers-lightly-touching-skin energy, or it can be boisterous, walking driving bicycling (but I've no nighttime biking lights). Or maybe I just need to lie down and let myself sink into the ground, let the planet carry me, and play with brain. Imagination will help, in the absence of anyone to bounce off of.
So I am drinking wine.
This is the only way I can think of, among the options available to me at the moment, to control the ball of energy inside and channel it outward effectively, so that it neither burns a hole through me nor gets dispersed wastefully. The past thirty-six hours have been that fulfilling.
I decided to experiment with foods I'd never made before, and invited a bunch of people to partake. If you call them, they will come - and they did, though some people who said they'd show up didn't. That's okay - I now have much leftover goodness, some of which went to feeding a Cee today. But about that, later.
Most of the morning and afternoon yesterday I spent cooking frantically, having planned things a bit poorly. People ended up socializing largely on their own (not that they seemed to mind) while I puttered about in the kitchen. Fortunately (?!), my kitchen is practically in my living room, so I was able to listen in on conversation, if not participate. One person had shown up before the others - this was planned, as we had decided that we needed to spend more time in each other's vicinity. Brilliant, intelligent, articulate, glowy being - have you ever experienced eyes both dark in color and utterly sunny? He laughed delightedly when I mentioned the words "haptic interface" and has proved fascinating at same. We will see movie and interact more, soon. This is happy.
After most had left, I remained with one, who was, is, the only person with whom I interact first through touch, then through language. Communication happens by both of these, for me, but haptic is not default primary with anyone but A. The evening was intense in that non-exhausting way.
Today, there was a Cee. This was the first time I was seeing her since the day I came back, when she picked me up from the airport and took me to a lot of socializing (yay!), and skipped town for Burning Man the next day. Several hours together did not nearly exhaust our capacity to babble on interlaced topics, updating each other on our lives. She massaged my shoulders, which had been hurting and are now feeling much better of course.
Being with her taps into that energy usually buried somewhere deep enough to not be distracting. I am emotionally bouncing off the walls, and reading (which is what I need to be doing right now) seems like a waste of the spillover of this energy. It can be quiet, fingers-lightly-touching-skin energy, or it can be boisterous, walking driving bicycling (but I've no nighttime biking lights). Or maybe I just need to lie down and let myself sink into the ground, let the planet carry me, and play with brain. Imagination will help, in the absence of anyone to bounce off of.
So I am drinking wine.
